


this is the way the world ends

by ephemeraldt



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, dumb angsty emotionally stunted college kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:56:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28756980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephemeraldt/pseuds/ephemeraldt
Summary: So it’s this: there’s a girl who’s in love with another girl, and it should be easy.
Relationships: Kim Yoohyeon/Lee Yubin | Dami
Comments: 9
Kudos: 71





	this is the way the world ends

**Author's Note:**

> a weird lil thing I wrote to experiment with style. enjoy!

She shows up at your dorm room. Of course she does. It’s just another Tuesday. 

“British poet. Five spaces. First letter E.” 

“Shouldn’t you be the one who knows this stuff?” you ask. 

“I do know it,” Yubin says. She’s sitting at your desk, like she always is. “I just wanted to test you.” 

“You’re a jerk.” 

“It’s Eliot,” Yubin says. And then, a second later, “This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper.” 

“I’m guessing he wrote that.”

“Yeah, he did.”  
  
“It’s deep.”  
  
“You could say that.”  
  
You want to scream, _why are you still here. Why are you still here, when your own dorm room is perfectly nice, and shouldn’t you be at one of those literature club meetings with like-minded people, or did you skip that again to come do nothing here._

Yubin looks up at you, squints. It’s like she’s studying your face. Like you’re one of her books. You adore any attention from her, a fact that makes you want to strangle yourself. 

“You shouldn’t tie your hair back so much,” Yubin says. “It makes your head look small.” 

One step forward, one step back, and it’s really just circles at the end of the day. 

So it’s this: there’s a girl who’s in love with another girl, and it should be easy. 

“Not everyone is going to see the world the way you see it,” Yubin says. It’s Friday night. You should be somewhere. A cute guy in your Psych 101 lecture invited you to a party. When you tell Yubin about it, she just grunts and doesn't move from her spot at your desk. 

“I think the world would be better if everyone saw it the way I do,” you say. “People would be nicer to each other.” 

Yubin snorts. You don’t know why. It wasn’t a joke.  
  
“You know, not everyone gets off on being cynical all the time,” you say. 

“I don’t get off on being cynical.”

“It seems like it.” 

She stares at you, and you stare back. You’ve been getting trapped into these weird staring contests with her a lot recently. “Is that really what you think?” 

Then you’re blushing, and you hate your anatomy for always giving you away. “Do you have anywhere else you need to be tonight?”

Her eyes dart around your dorm room, then back to you. “No, not really.” 

“Oh, okay,” you say, and don’t know why you’re disappointed.

The thing is: you could do something about it. You could walk up to her one day and say, hey, what are your intentions here. But you’ve let this, this _thing,_ go on for far too long. You watched the avalanche pile up, and you allowed it to bury you. 

There are days when she doesn’t come over, and on those days, you eye your empty desk chair with resentment. You miss her. Which is funny, because when she is around, she drives you crazy with her short responses and eye contact or lack thereof. 

If it was happening to someone else, you would think it was terribly romantic. But it’s happening to you, and it sucks. 

“Yoohyeon,” Yubin says, not looking up from her crossword. “You should put yourself out there.”  
  
You feel your heart drop to the bottom of your stomach, like an anchor, like a dead weight. “What?”

“That guy who asked you out from your Psych class. You said he was cute. Have you spoken to him since?” 

“Not really.” 

“That’s too bad.” 

You cross your arms. She can’t even see you. “Why do you care, anyway?” 

“Because I’m your friend and I want you to be happy.” 

It’s a good answer. You can’t argue with it, even though you want to. “You’re sweet.”

“I thought I was cynical.”

“You’re both.” 

“Huh.” Her mouth quirks in that crooked half-smile-half-smirk thing she probably thinks looks _so_ cool. “Lucky me.”

You go out for coffee with the guy from Psych. It’s...nice. A little awkward. The best part is that you spend two whole hours not thinking about what Yubin is doing. But that's not a fun thing to admit to yourself. 

“I might see him again,” you say to Yubin as you pick at a stray thread in one of your throw pillows. You want her to look at you. Even if it’s one of the weird staring contests, you want her to look at you. “We had a good time.”

“That’s great, Yoohyeon.”

“You were right about putting myself out there. I’m really glad I did.”

“And I’m glad to hear that.” Yubin stands up, grabs her coat. She’s still not looking at you. “I have to go. I have a lit club meeting.” 

“Oh okay, have fun.”

“I will,” Yubin says, sort of slamming the door as she leaves. It makes you jump. 

She doesn’t come back after that. 

A week passes. And then two. And then three. 

She’s avoiding you. 

_This is the way the world ends,_ you think. With the one girl who stopped visiting, and the other girl she left behind. The bang and the whimper. 

“I don’t get it,” you say. You’re in _her_ room this time, a change of scenery. “You’re the one who told me to put myself out there, and now you seem to have a problem with it.” 

“Yoohyeon, do we have to do this here?” Yubin asks. She’s sitting at her own desk chair for once, and you kind of resent the sight. 

“Where else are we going to do it? My room? You haven’t come around in _weeks.”_

“I wanted to give you space.” 

“Space? I didn’t ask for space.”

“You implied you needed it,” Yubin says. “Multiple times, in fact.” 

You have the urge to ball up your firsts and hurl them at the sky. Why can’t she just _get it._ All those times you asked why she came around so often, you were waiting for an answer. You were waiting for her to say why she feels the need to constantly invade your presence. You just want her to fucking want you, in all the ways you want her. And you want her to own up to it. 

“I wasn’t being serious,” you say. “You’re my best friend. I hate when you avoid me.” 

She stands up, facing you. And then- and then she’s pulling you in for a hug, face pressed into the space between your collarbone and neck. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I’m sorry.” 

For all her love of literature, she’s never been one for words. You know this is the best she can do, and you treasure it all the same. “I forgive you.” 

“Do you believe in life after death?” you ask one night. Yubin is sitting at your desk, pouring two glasses of red wine. She brought real glasses and everything. You wonder where she even got them. 

“I like the idea,” Yubin says. “But I don’t think so.”

“I think I believe in reincarnation,” you say. “Like, this whole concept that energy never dies, and when it leaves our body, it finds a new home.”

Yubin smiles in that tight-lipped way she does when she’s about to make a joke. “What if your energy’s new home is in a dung beetle or something?” 

“I’d be okay with that,” you say, and then, because you’re a little drunk and a lot happy to have her back, “as long as you were a dung beetle with me.” 

“Stop messing around.”

“I’m serious! I don’t want to picture my life without you in it.” 

She looks at you funny, like you have something stuck between your teeth. But then she’s getting up out of the desk chair, walking towards you, stopping only when your faces are inches apart. Your breath catches in your throat and you wonder if this is _it,_ if it’s finally happening. 

“I should be going.” 

After she leaves, you finish her wine and decide you really hate circles.

When it happens, you don’t even see it coming. 

Yubin shows up at your door, like always, except this time her cheeks are flushed pink. You heard winter is coming earlier this year and figure that must be the reason. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she says. She makes no movement to come into the room. This is strange. Normally she would already be sitting in your desk chair by now. 

“You can come in.”

“I think I’ll stay here,” she says. “Just in case you want to kick me out.” 

“What?” 

“I’m in love with you.” 

“Oh.”

She looks down at her feet. Your body is rushing to catch up with your brain, which is in another world entirely, or maybe even a different dimension. Whatever plane of existence it is that would allow those words to be true. Your tongue feels dumb and useless in your mouth, and you can’t make any sounds come out. Yubin nods, slowly, resigned. Then she turns away. 

She’s leaving. She’s leaving. She _can’t leave._

“Wait!” you say, reaching out and grabbing her by the wrist. And then you’re kissing her, because what else is there to do at this point, when you don’t have the words to express how you feel. And she's kissing back, and you can feel her smile, and it's sort of messy but it's perfect.

You know there's lots to talk about. A million things left unsaid, places where the two of you could never seem to meet in the middle. But there's time for that.

For now, well, right here is okay. 

So it’s this: there’s a girl who’s in love with another girl, and the other girl loves her back. 

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are always appreciated <3


End file.
